hi. tomorrow's december first. i decided not to get anyone gifts for christmas this year. the spirit's just lost in it. i do know. seems like a waste of time and money. is it bad? i mean, i'll give my nieces and nephews money instead i guess. i just don't have time to think of a gift for everyone. last year i gave a gift to everyone including my older siblings and i got nothing back. that's not really the reason i don't want to give gifts this year though. i just am not into it and i don't think i'm obligated to gift everyone. if i do give gifts this month i will just gift my nieces and nephews. i haven't fully decided yet but now i'm leaning on no.

i just got off work and i am going to play some skyrim because i don't think i can sleep right away. i slept here in my room yesterday and i woke up every hour. i think i may sleep in my mom's room. i also slept for three hours during my break so i can put off sleep until 7pm i think.

i'm going to go play video games now.

hi so it's 3 pm and I got off work an hour ago. i work from 2am to 2pm now. i only work 8 hours so i have time off from 6-10 am which is so cool and i love it. apart from that i get a bonus for agreeing to be on that schedule. my room is looking so dope right now and it's almost done. my gaming/office set up is looking amazing too, specially now that i got some mechanical punk keyboard. everything lights up and is teal it's fo fucking cute. i love the clicky clacky sound from my board too. now all i need is to have my ac cleaned so i can use it and sleep in this room again. i might show you my room when it's completely done. i also got a rainbow flag hanging on my room which is long overdue tbh.

i'm doing well. i don't post much because i don't usually have the time but hopefully i get to update more. i just started playing skyrim! it's fun but really challenging because i get lost every time. i love it though. apologies if this update is all over the place, i'll try to update some other pages now.

this rant is two days overdue but here it is. this supervisor for a different team is so fucking rude and mean to me for no reason except for the fact that maybe he's insecure because i'm obviously a girl who's not bad looking and and he's a gay dude with so many fucking issues (it's common in my country for gay people to be mean to girls for no reason and it makes me so fucking sad, it's not the first time this happened to me too. my colleague who reports to him actually said that that was the reason he is being such a bitch to me. i hate to say it but it's true and sad because most of my close friends are gay but why is it that in my country, gay men in authority feel so threatened by women it's so sad). like i don't get why he's such a fuckwad for no reason. he even had the audacity to tell my supervisor that i'm a bit rude to him like what? it's not my fault your english is terrible and you can't catch up to me. he says i speak too fast. they both actually think i speak too fast but i think it's just because their comprehension is really bad. that's not my fault but it's fine i will adjust i guess. i mean i have no trouble speaking with people whose native language is english. but go off i guess. what i really didn't appreciate was his lack of professionalism to tell this to me straight to my face. like, what? you can't give me feedback regarding how i approach you? are you not equipped to handle this sort of thing?

to make it even worse, my supervisor handled this whole thing so poorly that i just don't even have any respect for him at this point. we were on a google meet call while i was working and he kept talking while i was speaking to customer and i told him i have adhd so i'm not good at processing sensory overload (so that he'd stop talking and i can focus on my job). then he said "oh so you haev adhd? so that's why you're like that". uhm? the fuck do you mean? i can't take him seriously to be honest. with his really bad english and team handling i am so confused how he even got to where he is.

now i am dreading work because of these losers. whatever. they can both suck my dick.

on a less angry note, i went grocery shopping again a while ago. that was a bit therapeutic at least. i can't wait to make some chilli later. i also order lots of beans and legumes online and i'm excited to use them for my meals. i love being vegan. i often post about it on my story and my friend from college 5 years ago replied and told me how she remembers that i've always talked about wanting to go vegan. that was five years ago now and it was so sweet of her to remember that about me. i miss her. hopefully next year i can come visit her and we can hangout like we used to!

this seems to be like a weekly thing now instead of a daily update. i got off work at 6 am and i did like 10 minutes on the elliptical right after. then i made some indomie because i live for it these days. i then showered washed my hair because i haven't done that in like a week. i miss wearing my perfumes, which reminds me — i should put some on. i'm just at home but i miss smelling like cotton candy for some reason.

now i'm just chilling on my computer listening to some tiktok bops and i am trying to play league of legends but i suck at it.

i feel like i always start with an apology every time i update so i won't do it. i have had so many things go on in my life. a lot has happened — good and not so good. i don't really feel like putting the energy to write about it now that it's passed and going over them again. with that being said, i will try to update more often. i've managed to sync up my files here on my new computer so i'll be able to do so.

i'd just finished my shift and i had nice warm shower because i haven't had one in like two days. listen, it's been too cold to bother. it's my day off later so i can stay up longer. i think maybe i'll just play valorant even though i suck at it, and sims 4. that's really all i feel like sharing.